Choosing Yourself

Its Spooky season and I’m feeling introspective and optimistic…choosing yourself can be a daunting task, especially if you feel lost or subscribe to unhealthy relationships. This post is about finding the courage to choose yourself and not feeling guilty about it.

Lately, I’ve realized that I always consider other people when making decisions.

No matter what the situation is, its truly become an obstructive habit. Don’t even get me started with the fact that I usually don’t say no either.

It makes me question if I’m just filling my time with other people’s issues to run from my own.

So many gut wrenching things happened over the last 3 years and I’ve just been taking it day by day. However, in retrospect it seems like I’ve been orbiting around potentiality and a vision that only I may see.

Its to the point where I feel guilty for taking time to myself, I constantly monitor their state of mind and I always feel the need to be flexible just in case something happens. Seems like I’m subscribing to a pattern of unfulfilling tradeoffs and neglecting my own goals.

Writing this makes it sound way worse than it seems. Often times, these shifts or patterns are subtle or subconscious. Although all parties have the intention to help, we all must work interdependently to break this cycle.

I had to be honest with myself about what I needed.

I think the hardest part was figuring out that I had to let go of comfort and choosing myself isn’t just a thought or intention, but a grueling practice.

What does choosing yourself mean?

Choosing yourself means putting yourself first, communicating your needs, protecting your peace, standing up for yourself, cultivating your mind, body, and spirit, and recognizing your self worth. All of these things sound liberating, so why do we struggle to put ourselves first?

At some point in our lives, we’ve all been treated poorly or have had experiences that make us question our worth or purpose. Those lingering thoughts can develop into beliefs overtime, but rest assured, it is possible to re-evaluate and retrain your brain. Its just going to take intentional effort…every day! You gotta change up a lot, if you want to see something different

How to never feel guilty for choosing yourself?

Every day you make the conscious choice to choose yourself it will get easier. When things change inside you, things change around you.

Your anxious thoughts are not facts. To change them, you must first be aware and then deliberately choose to focus on the positive. Take a look at this article by Ellen Nguyen, it gave me the push I needed to finally choose myself.

I can happily say I’m at a place where each day I’m riding the waves of life; I’m laser focused on my art practice, my relationships are moving in a healthier direction and most importantly, I feel more confident and at ease for choosing myself.

Here are 9 ways to choose yourself daily

1. Establish your values and priorities

Take the time to do some deep work and determine your values and priorities.

2. Let go of anything or anyone that feels toxic

This can be tough, especially if its a loved one, but in order to change, you have cut ties that are holding you back.

3. Put happiness on your to do list

Sprinkle moments of joy throughout the day to boost your serotonin levels.

4. Make time for sunshine

Take a stroll, rest your mind and enjoy the vitamin D.

5. Don’t negotiate your values and priorities.

Remember your values and priorities are there for your sustainability and happiness, don’t push them to the side.

6. Create a space that makes you feel comfortable

Create a dedicated space for you to decompress. Add meaningful touches and keep it tidy for moments of relaxation.

7. Set boundaries and gracefully say “No” during me time

Make your self-care routine a priority and cease all distractions to truly focus on yourself. Learn to gracefully decline to honor your me time.

8. Only focus on the things you can control

You can’t control the outcome of situations, but you can control your effort and how you react. The best thing you can do is focus on what you can change within yourself or your environment.

9. Channel Albatross energy

Did you know that the Albatross is the only bird that routinely flies extremely long distances and crosses entire oceans while hardly flapping their wings? They live up to 70 years and spend most of their lives soaring from sea to sea. These giant creatures are monogamous and only return to the land to tend to their lady sea bird and chicks. Learn more here, these birds are truly fascinating.

The hardest journey you can take is the one you take alone. But that is the journey that makes you the strongest; So I encourage you to dance with the wind and soar freely like the albatross.

*I wish I could say I do all of these things religiously, but in reality I don’t. Some days are better than others. If all else fails, I usually end up with a pencil in one hand and a red bull in the other.

Brittney Lewis

tRAVELING Artist + Outdoor Enthusiast

ByBrijé is where I share weekend travel guides, trip inspiration and my creative endeavors. I’m currently wandering along the west coast painting colorful landscapes. Come along as I share the magic of the outdoors.

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